Alright everyone, you can now have that sigh of relief because I am here to answer what seems to be the most asked question these days. Whether by my tarot clients, friends, or just things I constantly come across on social media; What is a twin flame? Before I get into this, I'd like to say that there is a big possibility that you have not even met your twin flame. There is also a chance that you won't. Some of us just don't in our Current lifetime and thats totally OK. Believe me, there is nothing...whimsical about a twin flame experience or connection and I'm here to give you the real deal holy field low down boogie on what the fuck a twin flame actually is and what to expect from this connection. Here we go, grab a snack.
The actual definition of a twin flame is "when two souls are split in two or two people that are mirror images of each other", now although that sounds amazing when you first hear it, let me get into the details. One of the main characteristics of a twin flame relationship is that it will be both challenging and healing. This is due to the mirroring nature of a twin flame; they show you your deepest insecurities, fears, and shadows. But they also help you overcome them and vice versa—your twin flame will be equally affected by you. Remember that all relationships we have are meant to teach us something, whether a romantic relationship, friendship, whatever, But twin flames are meant to teach us the most. So much so ,that most of the time, people give up on their twin flame connection because it just becomes too difficult, or the pair isn't learning the lessons they're meant to learn. Ok okay, lets rewind.
Lets begin at the start which is when you first meet your twin flame. When you first come across or in contact with your twin , there is an instant connection. No, I don't mean you go on three or four dates and start to think you really like this person, I mean a deep deep deep connection, you feel it in your bones, you feel it spiritually, theres an instant recognition there as if you've known each other forever , its an intense and incredible bond, it feels like you've made it home. Even an hour into meeting this person, you already have a sense of longing. Like you've missed them! It feels crazy because you're like How can I miss this person? I just met them..Well, thats a twin flame. You miss them already because you've already met them before, you agreed in past lives to come together again, so when you do, its an instant connection and also pretty damn scary.
You and your twin are also very similar, this can be the way you look, dress, speak, how you respond to things, your morals, values, what you want for the future. You can even have similar pasts as your twin. Of course this doesn't mean down to a T, but there is a likelihood that you've both had a similar upbringing, or a similar set of obstacles you had to overcome, etc. You compliment each other as well. In the areas that you are not very similar, you will find you're differences compliment your twins, like yin and yang balance. Their shadow might be complimented by your light and vice versa. because a twin flame mirrors you, you're likely very aware of how your relationship highlights your shadows, and theirs.
This person feels magnetic to you. From the moment you met and still to this day, you feel drawn to them physically when they're near you, as well as magnetically, when you're apart. It's as though their energy is always with you, always wanting to be closer. Imagine two magnets, and that polarity. Even when they're flipped over, they're still trying to attach but there is an energetic force there. Your connection feels divine, as though , a higher power brought this person to you . You and your twin share a psychic bond, they just look at you and you know what they're thinking and vice versa. You may even feel each others emotions. Because twin flames are mirrors, they challenge us to want to be better and do better and oftentimes, your purposes are aligned in a way that pushes both of you to new heights. It's a very expansive relationship that promotes a lot of growth.
Sounds awesome right? Well, it is, if both of you can get past all the bullshit that'll come. And trust me, it will come. This isn't about there being bullshit because you don't love each other, I think twin flame love is the highest love of all, BUT, ...well, let me continue....
The twin flame dynamic always has a runner and a chaser. And this isn't a cute game, or a little toxic behavior that can be easily changed. This can go on for a really long time, hence why most people give up on these connections. The runner is usually scared of the commitment, scared of the strong feelings, so they haul ass any chance they get. While the chaser, well...chases. At some point, one of you may walk away, out of fear, anger—you name it, But you'll often come back. If you're in an 'on and off-again-type relationship, You'll find that things just keep bringing you together in random ways. Could be months, years, even decades; you just always find your way back to one another.Being with a twin flame is like constantly being confronted by yourself, namely the parts of yourself you may not like. It can be incredibly challenging, but it's facilitating major growth for both of you.
There are 8 stages of a twin flame connection.. yes, fucking 8! These stages can be a little unique depending on you two but here they are.
Stage 1: Yearning: Before the two of you meet, you will have an awareness that your other half is out there for you. There is deep longing in this phase, and there will be inner work during this phase to prepare you for meeting your twin flame. Sometimes, we meet our twin flames after some type of spiritual awakening , or just being more involved in spirituality and healing, because then we're ready...right ? lol
Stage 2 : Meeting: Once you meet, your world will be rocked. Prepare to fall fast. When you meet, it is insane instant attraction,. You can't keep your hands off one another and think about and want to spend a ton of time with each other constantly.
Stage 3: The Honey Moon Phase: yes, twin flames have a honey moon phase. How long this lasts, again, depends on the pair, but these are the moments where you're like "fuck! finally ! I found my person! The connection is extremely positive and meaningful .
Stage 4: Challenges emerge: Sooner or later, core wounds emerge, and differences arise in the relationship. Often, these challenges are a reflection of the soul work the two of you need to do on your own. It's often not about improving the relationship but rather improving yourself. An example would be that one of you has struggled with insecurities for a long time, and your twin is extremely confident (mirroring to you what needs to be worked on).
Stage 5: The test : Your love will be put to the test as you really start to dive deep into these shadow aspects. All your insecurities will rear up as you start to question yourself and each other.one partner may avoid the other or even abandon the relationship, while the other feels emotionally insecure. This is where attachment issues may arise.
Stage 6: The Chase: The chase, also called twin flame separation is a big part of many twin flame relationships; someone will always walk away. Twin flame relationships have a ton of push-pull,.Part of the chase is the reward for each person. But there will be a time when one partner will pull away, and this causes separation.
Please note that these separation periods happen and they are meant to bring you both to a higher level of awareness, healing, and ascension. Its up to you to determine whether you want to do this and re connect with your twin or not. This push -pull dynamic can go on for years and it's painful. You do not HAVE to be with your twin, you CAN decide that it's too much or too difficult or too painful, and go on to meet someone else. You have free will. But when twins separate, the reason is the need for ascension and growth. It's because your shadow sides need to be faced and the work needs to be done.
Stage 7: The Surrender:
As I said, The chase can go on for years, but should the two of you work through all your triggers, insecurities, and challenges, eventually you may come back together. This is the surrender into the relationship and big picture for you both. You accept and allow each other to be who they are, flaws and all. This is where you come back again.
Stage 8: Coming Home:
And finally, once you've fully surrendered and accepted your destiny, your life begins, and balance feels restored. Shared meaning is created, and there is more empathy and understanding in the relationship. In this stage, you support each other and continue to facilitate growth for the other.
Now, what is the difference between a twin flame and a soul mate? Well, we have many soul mates. Soul mates can be friends, and even pets. Twin flames are more intense because they are in fact, one soul.
Do we only have one twin flame? Yes
Does everyone have a twin flame? Nope. And it's because your soul hasn't had that split yet.
Can twin flames be toxic ?Yes. In a twin flame relationship, your twin may mirror your own issues, unhealthy habits, or imbalances. Also, when twin flames are apart, they may have a hard time functioning. You may also end up defining your self-worth by the relationship. These aspects of the twin flame relationship can result in an unhealthy codependent relationship. There is also a tendency to give your twin flame "unconditional love" AKA: letting way too much slide. Twin flames are notorious for being tumultuous if not handled with care.If we don't have self-love and awareness, they can become even more painful.
The bottom Line:
Twin flame relationships are incredibly potent, powerful, and RARE. But just because they're strong doesn't mean they're unbreakable—it's still important to work on your partnership, and your own individual growth. When you do that, the two of you will be catalysts for love, growth, and harmony in each other's lives.
Vany the Bruja