Well damn, it's been a little minute since I hop on the blog to write some shiiiit. But here I am ! Hello , welcome back ! I hope this Solar eclipse isn't kicking your asses too badly, lol , but today I wanted to show you guys a few of my favorite crystals and why . And of course, where to purchase them for yourselves. 

I also want to do a crystal giveaway !! So details on how to enter will be at the end of this blog <3 


Let's start with a pretty popular stone, Tigers Eye. Shown in the slideshow in its beautiful raw form. 
Tigers Eye is good for growing your confidence and strength and it is known as the stone of courage. It is a root and sacral chakra stone which means it helps you to get grounded, build a safe and strong foundation, and find your motivation once more. It's also good at warding off negative energy.
They balance the soul, alleviate anxiety, and restore confidence. This stone is used to increase wealth and vitality. Tiger's Eye brings protection against negative energy and strengthens self-worth.
​The link to get some Tigers Eye from my shop is : 
https://www.sacredmob.com/store/p130963/rawtigerseye.html#/


Moving on to this Raw Black Tourmaline beauty! 
Black Tourmaline will cleanse, purify, and transform dense energy into a lighter vibration.Cleansing and protective, black tourmaline is perfect for the entrance to your home. Place it on the console, window or shelf near the door
https://www.sacredmob.com/store/p130967/blacktourmaline.html#/


Third up is Carnelian Tumbled Stone . 
Carnelian restores vitality and motivation, and stimulates creativity.stimulates the Second Chakra, located below the naval..The stone attracts success in all areas of life, helping to achieve abundance, and prosperity. It will encourage you to reach your goals with confidence.Carnelian provides effective protection against harmful emotions such as envy, anger, and resentment, whether our own or others' bad feelings directed at us.If you are single, wear Carnelian to help you attract your soulmate. It is an excellent mineral to work with when you need to recover after breakups. The radiant orange stone will bring healing energies to broken hearts and aid in healing emotional trauma by dissolving negative thoughts and unwanted feelings.
You can get Carnelian at this link : https://www.sacredmob.com/store/p130964/carnelianstone.html#/

Clear Quartz is another one of my favorites. It's not the most "show off" stone, because...well, it's clear. But Clear quartz is amazing ! It is the most versatile healing stone among all crystals. Known as the stone of power and amplifies any energy of intention. Protects against negativity, attunes to your higher self and relieves pain.The ancients believed Clear Quartz could heal any condition, due to its purifying effect on the organs. They would even lay the stone over cuts, burns, and other minor injuries, to speed up the healing process and ease pain.
Quartz is used to treat headaches and migraines, as well as boosting your energy levels. Some say it can help with weight loss - probably because it’s much easier to control your weight when you’re full of energy and feeling good about yourself!
Clear Quartz will also enhance psychic abilities, as it improves concentration and memory. And because of this, it was highly valued by many cultures throughout the world.  

Clear quartz can be purchased here :
https://www.sacredmob.com/store/p130759/clearquartz.html#/

And last but definitely not least, we have Mookaite. 
Mookaite is a nurturing stone that supports during times of stress. It brings peace and a feeling of wholeness. Mookaite helps us with decision making, especially when we are having a difficult time.Mookaite stone is very grounding. It helps to ground your mind, heart, soul and spirit into this earthly realm. It is also said to bring us back to the present, giving the feeling of being in the “now”, which in turn helps us make clearer decisions based on what's going on around us.

https://www.sacredmob.com/store/p130966/mookaite.html#/

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And now for the crystal giveaway ! 
Rules to enter : 
​1.Leave a comment (here on the blog), and share my blog on your social media ! 
2.Follow @SacredMob on Instagram and like their last 5 posts. 
That's it ! I'll be picking one winner on Halloween !!! Winner will receive a goody box from my shop www.sacredmob.com ... Crystals included ! 

Til next time ! Peace <3 


​

 Hello everyone and welcome back to another blog :) Thank you for being here ! I'm excited to bring you guys today's blog because it was actually requested by a couple of people on my Instagram. A few days ago I asked you guys on my story for some blog ideas, and a few of you said "How can we cleanse our homes?" "How can we cleanse ourselves"? I'm here to give you the easiest ways to do so, and where you can grab these items. 



First of all, spiritual cleansing can be looked at in a variety of ways. The reason I love Spirituality so much is because unlike religious rules, it's more about intuition, what you feel inside, what your gut is saying to you, and it's about Intention . Anyone can perform magic, anyone can cast spells, you can use anything you find at home whether it be candles, or herbs from your kitchen. It's all about your intention when doing so . Does having certain herbs help ? Yes. Do certain candles help ? Yes. But this isn't about lighting a candle that says "protection" and hoping for the best. It's about the intention set while doing so, the prayer said, the manifestation , and whatever little piece of flair you'd like to throw in there because you are intuitively guided to do so. 

Ok, I'm getting off track, back to the cleansing part. 
Spiritual cleansing can be as easy as taking a yoga class to help you focus on your breath and body more. Maybe the reason you feel heavy and need a cleanse is because you truly haven't taken time for yourself, to breathe, and to just be still . Stagnant/Stuck energy NEEDS to move out of your body, which can as well , be cleansing your spirit, But for today's post, and because I think you guys were mostly  talking about baths and the use of sage, I'll keep it in that topic. 

One way to do a spiritual cleanse, is by taking a bath. Why? Because water purifies. 
Water absorbs and carries away the negative energy stuck in your spiritual body. 
For a nice and relaxing cleansing bath , you'll need some epsom salt , or sea salt (again, intention. always remember the intention you're setting), some essential oils (optional), some dry herbs or flowers (optional) , and maybe even some crystals ! Find a crystal that speaks to you and you can add that to the bath or even let it sit near you on the edge of the tub. Light some candles, say a prayer of intent, and enjoy. 

The essential oils I use frequently can be found here on Amazon , check out my amazon store front. 
www.amazon.com/shop/vanyvicious

Best essential oils for a spiritual cleanse: 

• Frankincense for protection and elevating the spiritual self 
• Lavender for emotional balance 
• Rosewater for self-love and compassion 
• Rosemary for protection and healing

If you need to do a little crystal shopping as well, here ya go :) thank me later . www.sacredmob.com/earth.html#/


Another way to cleanse, is of course, Smudge Sticks. Imagine smudging as a spiritual "smoke bath". 
Light the end while holding the opposite end, and just wave it around yourself and your home :) easy peasy. If you're going to use sage AND palo Santo, sage first and then palo Santo. 
You can find smudge sticks like these at www.sacredmob.com/fire.html#/
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And the last one is a visual cleanse , which is absolutely free and you can do this anywhere, at any time. 
Sometimes, you just need a quick relief and to center yourself. This is where a 5-minute visualization technique can help 

1. Take 3-5 slow, deep breaths to center yourself. 
2. Imagine a bright white light coming down from above and entering your body through the crown of your head.
3. Envision the light slowly traveling down each part of your body, pushing out the negative energies from every corner of your being.
4. As the light reaches the soles of your feet it exits your body and carries all the negative energies away.  
5. Take a few more relaxing breaths to come back into your physical reality, and get on with your day.

The color white symbolizes new beginnings and fresh starts. Not to mention, in the physical world, the color white represents cleanliness.
On the energies level, the color white carries within it purity, light, and goodness.
Visualizing a white light clearing out the negative energies in you is highly effective. Your subconscious mind, as well as, your subtle body recognize those positive properties and, as a result, act accordingly. 

That's all I got for today, I hope you all enjoyed this. If you did, make sure to leave a comment and let me know :) Have a fabulous week! 

love,
​Vany 

I love me some aromatherapy, and I'm convinced that people don't use enough essential oils because they simply do not know enough about them or about how to actually use them. Essential oils can be used in a variety of ways. You can add them directly onto your skin (using a carrier oil like coconut oil ) , you can use oils in a diffuser, you can mix a couple drops into a bath, or you can simply smell them 🥰 Essential oils contain more antioxidants than fruits & vegetables. They also control free radical damage on a cellular level (DNA damage, wrinkles, heart disease, etc)
This beautiful herb here is Peppermint, and peppermint oil is one of my favorites.

​
Peppermint oil kills germs, stops itching, relieves pain, prevent or reduce vomiting and nausea, helps the body eliminate mucus, reduces muscle spasms, and more ! 


There is so much magic in plants ! Firstly, plants have a conscious, and they communicate through their root system . Aromatherapy is the practice of using the natural oils extracted from flowers, bark, stems, leaves, roots, or other plant structures to enhance psychological and physical well-being to balance, harmonize, and promote body , mind , and spirit. 
Aromatherapy treats the entire body, not just one disease or symptom. It assists to balance, regulate, heal and maintain itself.

Whether you are breathing the oils in or applying them to your skin , they enter the bloodstream to deliver their healing power and promote whole body healing <3 

I will be making more blog posts about aromatherapy, how it works, and all the benefits if you guys enjoyed this post. 
So make sure to let me know ! Have a great weekend everyone ! 

​Happy Healing <3 

 Hey everyone and welcome back to 'le blog' ....that's my fancy way of saying the blog, ya know. 
Anyway, I'm what some people would call a bit of a researcher. I think of something completely random throughout the day and find myself , with my OCD by my side, literally trying to learn everything I can about the subject. I guess it's good though, knowledge is power and all that. 

For those who know me, or have followed my social media for a while, then you'd know that I pretty much dramatically changed my life a little over a year ago. I won't get into why, or how, but it did bring up a lot of thoughts for me like "can people change?' Can people TRULY change? I asked myself this question a lot, and the psychological research began of course . My "Can people truly change?" question turned into "What about cheaters? " "What about people with a horrible outlook on life?" And as my usual research goes, I ended up down the rabbit hole of people changing, signs of changed behavior, how to change, "is once a cheater always a cheater", real? , and how do these things affect us in our interpersonal relationships? 

I found a lot of different resources and articles online to be quite helpful, but I also found that sometimes these questions are pretty damn subjective. Some will agree 100% that people can change, because they did it themselves. Others will say people never change. And some will say it depends on the situation, or the reasoning for them changing. I believe all of it to be true. 

This blog is going to be a little different from others because it's going to be based more off opinion (mine, as well as others) instead of actual facts or some sort of scientific proof, but let's get into it. 

A few weeks ago, I decided to throw some Polls and questions up on my instagram stories. I asked my followers a few questions about how they felt on this topic and the answers I got were either very unanimous or just all over the place, which led me to thinking that the topic of people changing is actually VERY subjective. 

My first question was on a poll and I simply asked "Can people change?" I didn't give any more details, and I wasn't specific at all. I kept is as simple as possible to receive just Yes or No answers. 89% of people voted YES, and 11% said NO. With that being noted, my next question, again very simply was, "Once a cheater, always a cheater? Again, I didn't go into detail and the only possible replies were either Yes or No. 
THE SAME PEOPLE that voted Yes, people can change, voted YES to once a cheater always a cheater. 
This poll turned out to be 52% YES, and 48% NO. 

I thought this was pretty interesting. You say Yes people can change with such confidence and a trigger finger, but cheating is something that can not be changed. .. Interesting. 
It leads me to believe that it is truly subjective. One person who has personally changed their life for the better can vote yes, but if they've been hurt by a cheater before, they say once a cheater always a cheater. They don't believe these "type of people" can change. Is it because of past pain they're holding on to? Is it because they are cheaters themselves and have never stopped? There are so many factors to determine this and I truly think it's all based on the individual themselves, and their own experiences throughout their own journeys. 

Interestingly enough, I then posted a story where I asked "what is most important in friendships and relationships?" and I included a box where everyone could type out their answer . 
And the results were all the same ! 
Most people said trust, respect, communication , and honesty. 

So we can all agree that honesty  and trust are extremely important, and most of us agree that people can change but we don't agree that someone would never cheat again ? How come cheaters can't change? How come people who lie can't eventually start to be honest? Are we basing these decisions or our answers on our own pain and past experiences? Are we projecting these past issues onto new people we may have meet? Just some things to think about I guess. 

During this poll day I also asked, How important is someones past? And the options were VERY or IT'S Not, and shockingly enough, 32% of people said its very important, and 68% said it isn't. 
So we are quick to judge someone for their past, whether the person is currently in your life or not, yet we expect total honesty from one another in order for our relationships and friendships to work? 
My thoughts on this are, If you knowingly are going to judge someone for their past because it's important to you, why would they feel the need or more importantly, feel safe enough to be 100% honest with you? 
More so, if they don't feel OK enough to talk to you about their past, because you think its important, are they a liar when you find out because they didn't tell you? 

Does the past really matter when it truly doesn't exist anymore? 

One of my last poll questions was "Why do people cheat? have you ever cheated? and can people stop ? 
A few answers I received were ; 

"When someone actually wants to be with someone, they don't even think about it" 

"I think people cheat because they are not satisfied" 

"if you do it once, you'll do it again " 

"cheating has nothing to do with the person who got cheated on, but rather the cheater themselves having internal issues"

"Cheating isn't a mistake. It's something you agree to when you don't value your partner or relationship" 

"I guess it can be a mistake sometimes" 

"I cheated in past relationships but I don't anymore" 

"I cheated once, and never again" 

These answers confused me even more because they were coming from the same people voting that people CAN change. 

Then I asked "whats the greatest thing you've ever forgiven someone for?" 
Can you guess what the replies were ... ? 
CHEATING !!

Of course at this point I got even more curious, I really like to study the human brain , or mind I guess, but what's interesting to me is really the bit of disconnect when it comes to forgiveness . We can forgive for only certain things WE, as individuals, find OK enough to forgive for. But when it comes to hurting us via another person, completely unforgivable no matter the circumstances. I then wanted to find out what people consider actual cheating . So I asked a couple more questions. 

Is liking photos of the opposite sex on social media considered cheating?
11% said yes
89% said no

Is hiding or deleting texts cheating? 
78% said yes
22% said no

The people who said Liking photos on social media is cheating, also said YES to once a cheater , always a cheater. Does this mean that If you catch your significant other liking photos on instagram, the relationship is over? There is no coming back from this? It's unforgivable and they'll do it again ? Although I do agree with the second question. I do believe hiding texts can be cheating, I believe when you do things and try not to get caught, it's because you know in your soul that it isn't right. And anything you do behind your partners back can definitely be considered lying. But is that also a reason to never forgive someone? What if it happened once? twice? Whats the scale here? How long is this spectrum ? Who determines this? 

I guess the answer is, whatever you do behind someones back, or lie about, is considered cheating. Which Can't be forgiven, yet people can change. Yes, I'm as confused as you are. 

Based on "my study" ;) 
I believe a few things. One, people can change. I've done it. And if you tell me I haven't changed and I'm still the idiot I was 5 years ago or even 2 years ago, I'd laugh in your face. Second, I've never cheated, so I cant really speak from personal experience. 
But I do know one thing, people can change, but ONLY and I really mean ONLY when THEY want to. 
You cannot force change onto anyone, you cannot threaten anyone to change, you cannot give someone ultimatums , you can't force anyone to make better choices, and you definitely cannot have expectations of them to do so. 
People change 1 of 3 ways, in my belief. 
The first being because they simply want to. 
The second is because of a near death experience. 
and the third (again, subjective, my opinion) is some sort of life changing out of body type of experience. 

No one, nothing, and nothing else will "MAKE" someone change, and with that being said, believe actions, not words. Believe patterns, not words. Believe your intuition, not words. People can and do change when they put effort toward their goals, when they SHOW with ACTION that they are taking the right steps. 

Do I think humanity has to be more forgiving of mistakes? yes , to a certain extent. 
I believe forgiveness not only maybe helps the other person begin to heal, but also helps you.  Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting how someone hurt you, and it definitely does not mean excusing their behavior or the harm done, but forgiving someone will also bring YOU peace. You can choose to forgive someone for your own well being, and still let them go. That's OK too. 

My point is, people change. But you have to give them a chance to SHOW it. 
People make mistakes, and sometimes people cheat, it's really up to us and our own experiences in our pasts or with this person, that determine whether we can forgive or not. 
But one thing we can all agree on is that the most important things in ANY human relationships are honesty, trust, and communication. 
And if you believe that last sentence to be true, then you also have to give people a safe space to actually be honest and vulnerable and communicate, right? 

Let's just try to open our hearts a little more , without being completely stepped on of course, and try to see  people for who they truly are and not so much for what they have done in their past. 
I say this all the time , and I'll say here once again. Love is the most beautiful frequency of all , it is the largest and loudest expression , so do things from a place of love. Say things from a place of love. Forgive from a place of love. 


Ps. this is not an invitation to stay in extremely toxic situations because you want to have a bigger more forgiving heart, please use your discernment and choose your tribe wisely. 
​

Anxiety is a bitch, let's just start there. Unfortunately more than 40 million people in the U.S deal with this annoying ass health condition. Myself included. But there are plenty of ways to get some relief from these chaotic thoughts, feelings, and moments, naturally. For those who are reading this and are lucky enough to NOT have any anxiety, let me first explain what it is and we'll get into how to help yourself through it. 

Anxiety is a mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry , anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with daily activities. It's excessive worry, intrusive thoughts, and fatigue. Symptoms of anxiety are feeling very nervous, having a sense of doom or danger, sweating, trembling, hyperventilation , feeling weak or tired, and trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the worry. There are 6 major types of anxiety as well, from generalized anxiety, social anxiety, or even separation anxiety. 
But the one thing they all have in common, is that THEY SUCK AND WE HATE IT .
These anxiety attacks can ruin your day, relationships, friendships, and in severe cases, ruin your ability to even go out and have fun or simply make it through a work day. 

If you suffer from anxiety, first I'd like to say You are not alone, and second, I'm here to help with some natural and healthy ways to get through your anxious days. 

Now of course, there are medications to treat anxiety symptoms but personally, I like to first try the natural way of doing everything so here we are. Aside from therapy, some natural ways to reduce anxiety are to cut caffeine, avoid drinking alcohol, quit smoking, a healthier diet, and exercise or relaxation techniques. 

Exercise is should be a go-to for people suffering with anxiety. Firstly, it diverts your attention elsewhere so you're not thinking about the worry. Getting your heart rate up also changes the brain chemistry to create more space for anti-anxiety neurochemicals, like serotonin for instance. If you've never been a gym person, even doing pilates or yoga can help . I usually just search on youtube for something like "yoga for beginners" and just follow along. It helps! 

Another way to ease anxiety is to stop drinking, or avoid alcohol as much as possible. Drinking can interfere with the neurotransmitters which can be responsible for positive mental health. Research shows that there is a link between anxiety disorders and alcohol use disorder occurring hand in hand. 
These interferences create an imbalance that may lead to certain anxiety symptoms. Alcohol also disrupts your body's natural ability to sleep and a good nights sleep is incredibly helpful when you suffer with anxiety. 

Quit smoking cigarettes ! Most of us have reached for a cigarette in stressful times in life, but smoking while stressed may worsen anxiety over time. The earlier you start smoking in life, the higher the risk for developing an anxiety disorder. Nicotine and other chemicals in cigarettes altar pathways in the brain linked to anxiety . 

Limit your caffeine intake. 
If you have chronic anxiety, caffeine can be the enemy. Caffeine may cause nervousness and jitters, neither of which are helpful if you're anxious. Caffeine may cause or worsen anxiety disorders, and can also cause panic attacks. For some people, eliminating caffeine may significantly improve anxiety symptoms. Again, this alters brain chemistry . Gradually reducing your caffeine intake over the course of a few weeks can help adjust the habit without your body going through withdrawal. 


Sleep better ! 
Sleep has been proven to be an important part of good mental health. 
You can make sleep better by only sleeping when you're tired (at night), not reading or watching TV in bed, not using your phone or any other electronics. Avoiding caffeine at night, avoiding large meals at night as well, and trying to go to sleep at the same time each night. 

Meditation and practicing mindfulness! 
A main goal of meditation is awareness of the present moment. Which includes acknowledging your thoughts in a nonjudgmental way. This can lead to a sense of calm by increasing your ability to mindfully tolerate these thoughts and feelings. Meditation is known to relieve stress and anxiety. Research has shown that 30 minutes of daily meditation may alleviate some anxiety symptoms and act as an antidepressant. There are plenty of different ways or kinds of meditation , but I will get deeper into that in another blog post :) 

Eat better ! 
Low blood sugar levels, dehydration, or chemicals in processed foods may cause mood changes in some people. A high sugar diet may also affect your temperament . If you notice your anxiety getting worse after eating, check what you're eating . Check labels, and do your research. 

Practice Breath work! 
I'm such a fan of breath work for so many reasons and because of all of its amazing benefits. 
Shallow, fast breathing is common with anxiety which can lead to light headedness, a fast heart rate or even a panic attack . Deep breathing can help restore normal breathing patterns and reduce anxiety. 
Breath work can also balance blood pressure, reduce ptsd and trauma, boost your immune system , help creativity and more (seriously, look it up if you don't believe me ) 
You can also find these exercises on youtube and follow along. 

Aromatherapy! 
Ya'll know I love me some damn essential oils, and there is a reason other than they smell amazing. 
Aromatherapy is a holistic healing treatment that has been used for thousands of years. It uses natural plant extracts to promote the health and well being of the mind, body, and spirit. Who doesn't love that?!
It enhances both physical and emotional health. #Plantmedicine . 
Therapeutic grade essential oils are best and they can be inhaled directly, added to a diffuser or onto the skin with a carrier oil . Aromatherapy helps you relax, sleep, boosts your mood, reduces your heart rate , and reduces blood pressure for those who have it high. 
Lavender is always a crowd favorite, but other good essential oils to have on hand are bergamot, clary sage, and ylang ylang. 


That's all for today, I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post. I hope you do not have anxiety, but if you do, give all this stuff a try for a few weeks. What do you have to lose? besides that damn anxiety . 


Peace & love everyone,
Vany

 Hello everybody and welcome back to another blog. I woke up with massiveeeee anxiety today so , very healthily, I decided to drown myself in work. (that's a joke btw,  can't always be distracted but hey! here we are). As you all know, I have a few e-commerce businesses so a portion of my day is dedicated to social media posts, reels, stories, tiktoks, fucking tweets and all the other annoying stuff that goes into that but I'm not here to complain because I am forever grateful to be my own boss BUT, ever since I began my spiritual journey, I started following a lot of pages with , of course ,spiritual information . Love seems to be a recurring theme in my timeline so I wanted to address the topic of Love and Relationships. 

Am I a love expert? fuck no . 
Am I even a life expert? also, fuck no. 
Am I a relationship pro? again, fuck no . 
But here are my thoughts, which you can feel free to agree or disagree with. Blogging is a form of therapy for me, sooooo here I go....You know the drill, grab a snack. And as always, I thank you for being here. 

Too many times I've heard people say things along the lines of "you're so lucky you found your person". 
"You guys are so lucky to have each other " .. "he proposed? You're so lucky!!" 
Which got me thinking one very realistic thought. Love is not about luck. Love is about collaboration . Yes, you can meet someone and feel lucky to have met them , but this isn't what I mean.
You can be the luckiest person in the world as far as financial abundance, having amazing children, a great family , the career of your dreams, and still be in a shit storm relationship if there is not collaboration.

Let me elaborate. 
Love is not enough. We can love someone to the ends of the earth and still be unsatisfied. Still be unhappy . Still have feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. It ain't got shit to do with the actual love. 
Yes, being in love is amazing. We all crave love and we all want it in the end, because after all, love is the highest energy, the highest frequency of all. This is why we have to stay mindful of doing everything we do, and saying everything we say, from a place of Love. There absolutely is no higher frequency. Whether love for self, love for career , or love from or for another person. We do things from love, or at least we should. Love is the highest vibration and the highest state of consciousness in the Universe. By tuning in to this vibrational frequency we are aligning ourselves with its very essence. Divine Source Energy . 

Love is also the most sacred energy exchange. But that's what relationships and love are supposed to be. An exchange. You give some, I give some. You do that, I do this. Giving and Receiving. This absolutely cannot be one sided, and it absolutely cannot be unbalanced in reciprocity. (Check out my Masculine Vs Feminine Energy blog for more of this ) . EVERYTHING in life is about BALANCE . Equal Give and Take, black and white, light and dark, and reciprocity. 

Think about work. If you work, you get paid. If you don't put in the work you're supposed to, you get fired. 
Period!!! It's not about "luck"... Healthy and successful love and relationships take WORK, from BOTH parties. Friendships included here guys, I'm talking about Love in a general sense as well. 
You can have a bestie from 2nd grade, who you still talk to daily, but also find yourself being the one who always checks in first, the one who puts their neck out for the other person, and they can even disappoint you constantly with their lack of follow through. Even though , it happens a lot ,you're hurt every time, and you've spoken about it before,  you still love them . So you stick around. ..Essentially hurting yourself because you have higher expectations. (I will be writing another blog soon about expectations) 

Please remember that unconditional love does not mean unconditional tolerance. Continuing to let shit slide will only start a war within yourself. And you are the star player in your own damn life. 
Its ALL about Reciprocity and what? Say it with me !!! BALANCE!!! 

Another thought, can people change? yes of course. 
Will they change if you've mentioned something bothering you? Possibly. 
But if they continue to show you that the friendship or relationship isn't equal, do you continue to hurt yourself and betray your own feelings? Out of love? 

Love and energy has to be reciprocated. There is no other way around successful partnerships. Point blank. If you're a man, and you go to work everyday , lets say you are the bread winner. Your wife is a stay at home mother, You pay the bills right? The exchange here is your wife taking care of the house. 
I'm not talking about these traditional "man does this", "woman cleans" caveman bullshit. I'm talking about the exchange. 
If you've worked a 12 hour day, busted your ass, dealt with clients, attended meetings, got yelled at by your boss, and you come home to your partner sitting straight on their ass, no food made, house is a mess, and they haven't done a damn thing productive, your first thought isn't going to be "so happy to be home"... Your first thought could very well be "wtf did she do all day? why do I bust my ass for this and she doesn't help me ?" (switch the roles, gender don't matter , all that) But am I making sense here? 
Yes, things happen, life happens. But when one person is giving into ANYTHING more than the other, you've caused an energetic imbalance  , and everything is energy so how do you think that's going to affect you? 

I feel like I've been blogging about balance a lot lately and it's mostly because I feel a lot of imbalance, tension , and worry in the collective. It comes up in readings for my clients as well. So many people are living unhappy because they are programmed to think love is enough.And as long as you're in love, you should tolerate whatever. You know how many married people you probably know who are miserable together but they stay because "its easy" or It's what they're "used to" . Sometimes people just feel too old to start over, or make new friends, so they turn a a blind eye to the bullshit, the lies, the cheating, and it don't even have to be that serious. It can simply be just an uneven exchange and always feeling like they give more than the other person but  they turn a blind eye on their own damn selves, and what they need to be happy. They abandon true happiness within.  Slap a smile on their face and say "well...at LEAST he doesn't hit me" ... bitch, what? Ask any married couple you know, if they are truly happy. You'd be surprised at the answers . Ask a knowingly unhappy couple why they stay? You'd be shocked. 
"Well you know, we have a child "... "Well, we have this house right..." But you're miserable?! Why actively CHOOSE misery ? I just don't get it. 

 "He's cheated 12 times, but I love him so much " ... "She never helps me and she's a bitch to my mother but I love her so much " . 
HUH!!??

Being loved is the MINIMUM. Make sure you are also being respected, prioritized, supported, desired, and understood. And don't be confused by these WORDS. If your friends are saying "I respect you"..."our friendship is a priority " .. " I understand ".. But their actions prove otherwise, then the truth is, they don't. 

You can't force anyone to be perfect, we're all human, we're all flawed.And of course NO ONE is perfect.  But if they want to talk to you, they will, if they want to be with you, they will. If they want to make things work, they will . Don't let any relationship you're involved in be one sided. It's not healthy and it's not fair to you. There's nothing worse than begging people to stick around when they've shown you several times they don't care. Do not water dead plants. It will not blossom into a garden , no matter what you do. 
The only way to PROVE you care, is ACTION. It's not repeating things that hurt your friends, family, wives, husbands, boyfriends, whatever. It's so much easier than our human brains make it out to be. 


Reciprocity is the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit. 
​When you are in a relationship, or a friendship .This other person is now your team mate. This is why it's called a Partnership . A team cannot win the game with one player. 

​Unfortunately, we do not consciously think of reciprocity because we're all human and we are all "errored" (yes, I made that word up) .When we speak on these subjects, we're like "omg, yes of course. so important !" and we just keep it moving. The thing about reciprocity is that it can not be EXACT. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. What one person can provide, the other one might not be able to, so this is why communication is so important. "hey, I don't make as much money as you, but I will do this this that and other " (actually gotta do it though, ya feel me?)

Reciprocity is impossible if one person believes they are superior or in control , or if someone is highly competitive, they might have a hard time truly understanding what reciprocity even is. 
But this equal give and take does require both parties to be aware and to be invested. 

A few easy ways to practice reciprocity, is to learn each others love languages. (google it, its a thing) 
Work on communication , seek counseling if you need help. Avoid "keeping score" , and practice independence so that you learn to value the support you receive from your person . Codependency can damage that all . 

“Give and take” is a mechanism inherent to all personal relationships – you cannot expect to receive something if you don’t offer on your own turn.Once the balance between give and take is broken, difficulties arise and partners feel they are not getting too much from their relationship."

​Like I said, I ain't no expert. I'm  a weirdo sipping coffee at 5pm that overthinks. But one thing I know for sure, is that LUCK, isn't a factor. Yes, you may feel lucky to meet someone or have someone, or have that friend. But those initial WOW feelings , fade. The adrenaline rush fades. What you're left with is love. And love alone, is not enough. .

Think of it like this. 
He spoils her. She spoils him . 
No roles, No ego, no games. 
Partners, Best friends, a team. 
A King & a Queen. 

Love needs respect, and the give and take of equality. 
Love needs acceptance , appreciation, and an equal energy flow. 

Everything is energy ;an exchange. You get what you put out. The energy you expand , comes back. What you put into nourishing yourself or a connection , is what you will get back. 
So we can't keep walking around this Earth expecting to GET more when we don't DO more , and thats with anything. 



I'll leave you with this... 
"Reciprocity is sharing of energy that honors and refuels each person in the exchange. When your first reaction is to dump on someone or extract without considering how that person may feel or what they may need, whether friend , family , or co worker, we are operating from a self that wants to be coddled. a glimmer of the mother wound from our childhood. We must invest in ourselves and honor the space another holds for us." 

   Hello everyone ! Happy Saturday. 
After a much needed blog hiatus, I am back with a topic that seems to be becoming increasingly popular here in the internet world, which is the balance (or lack of ) between masculine and feminine energies. So grab a snack, you already know I am hood-ied up with a coffee and I'm ready to go. 

Let me start off by giving you a quick run down of these energies first so that you can better understand what they do for us as humans. Masculine and feminine energies are in all of us, just because you are a man, does not mean that you only have, or SHOULD only have masculine energy and vice versa. This is not about gender, this is about energy. But I will be using the pronouns; he/she for this blog as it just makes it easier for me. The goal here is to balance them both within ourselves, why? Because this is how we are complete.  As you move toward this balance, life becomes more whole, you become happier, more aware, more harmonious and over all healthier. 

Masculine energy is characterized by DOING and achieving , and it is molded by logic and reason. The feminine is more intuitive, oriented towards receiving and allowing, and characterized by BEING. Which is why when these energies are balanced, we are then able to experience a greater sense of harmony and fulfillment. Masculine energy is confident, It takes action and it takes responsibility. It is powerful, sometimes controlling, assertive and decisive . The feminine energy is more intuitive, more creative ,sensitive, and free flowing. 

A woman that is too deep in her masculine side will be aggressive, competitive, and dominating. While a man too much in his feminine, may not be so assertive, might not take action toward what he wants to achieve, etc. 

​When a masculine energy is out of balance, he can become controlling, he may have trouble truly connecting with a woman, he can also be insecure, try to assert dominance in unhealthy ways, etc. When a woman's feminine energy isn't balanced, she can have trouble asking for help , she can not be trusting of others, she may not be "a care taker" so easily. She may also be very independent, and directive. Sometimes a bit harsh as well, or not very emotional. 

For women in the area of love, too much masculine energy can show up as you chasing, pursuing, initiating too much or doing too much , instead of relaxing, allowing, receiving, opening up for support or asking for help .

For men, being too much in their masculine can mean that they lack confidence to make decisions. Masculine energy allows us to be responsible for taking action. Which starts in our thinking process, but in order to act, we must decide , and in order to decide, we must have the confidence in our abilities to follow through with our decisions. 

We have to think of polarity here.. The sun and the moon, night and day, inhale and exhale. As above, so below, as within , so without, and so on and so forth. There always needs to be a balance. And as you read this, please keep in mind, again,  that this has nothing to do with gender, and I am speaking on energy. We are ALL energy. Everything is energy . 

​Giving is an action of our divine masculine , while receiving is an action of our divine feminine, and a balance of both those energies is how we feel most harmonious , which is why an equal exchange and reciprocity is so important within relationships. With that being said, no one is perfect and its very difficult to achieve a perfect balance because we will always lean more toward one side to the other, it's just human nature and we have to consider the way we grew up, unhealed traumas, etc etc. 

So lets think of yin and yang. The yin energy is our feminine side, this is stillness, night time, intuition, creativity, senses and feelings . This means you feel a lot, you feel things before they happen or before you can even understand them. You might have even been called "needy" or "sensitive" . You might not be an introvert but you most likely have introverted tendencies . The good part is that you are great at being vulnerable, honest, transparent, and authentic . You have integrity, you're wise and have the ability to connect deeply to others. When your energies are balanced, people feel seen, heard and understood by you. .

The imbalance is that you're such an empath , you can become an energetic sponge and take on other peoples energy or the energy of the environment you're in. If something goes wrong, you will harp on it. You lose empowerment. It's like your mind is being held hostage by your cycling thoughts. Do not forget that this energy is STILLNESS. Although, too much stillness can leave you feeling lonely or isolated or leads you to stay in unhealthy relationships (whether personal or professional) for too long. You can also exhaust others. Of course they love you but others may start to feel responsible for your happiness and resentful of your sadness. 

The way to balance your Yin (feminine side) is to meditate, journal, sleep, take time for yourself. Set aside time to feel your feelings and release them. This is your superpower !  Cry if you need to, or dance it all out. The trick here is to set aside time for yourself and your feelings. Get ahead of your feelings so that they don't hijack your day. Feelings are a portal to our intuition. It offers helpful feedback . When you put off your feelings, or don't make time for them, they can come back retroactively, and it can then take you longer to process what the fuck just happened. 

Try to schedule in 20 minutes once or twice daily, just for this. Think of it as time to recalibrate. Stop asking for advice and forfeiting your power to others and start tuning into your intuition to empower yourself. 

​If you're pretty well balanced, you can be sensitive, curious , self aware and you're able to go with the flow. Your process can be slower than others but its your journey of self discovery and you appreciate it all by connecting fully with It ( I love how my ear just started ringing )...Confirmation !!! Thank you source! 

​Being balanced in your feminine energy means you create a safe space everywhere you go, you're fluid with your feelings and you allow others to explore theirs. You can also often advocate for others who aren't advocating for themselves. (defending or standing up for others ) . Even if you don't always do this for yourself. The imbalance is too much self sacrificing, or abandoning yourself (see my other blog post about disrespecting yourself for more on this ), It's going to catch up with you eventually and feel like bitterness, resentment, or like you're being taken for granted. 

​You may also have a tendency to jump to assumptions or make up stories in your head, rather than just asking for clarification . Even if you do not agree or are not understanding another person, take their words at face value and respect their way of being. Offer yourself peace of mind, and let it go. 

​A good way to balance feminine energy is to be creative! I can't say this enough. This can be a great mirror for your spiritual growth, whether its dancing, taking a pottery class, painting, writing, Plan to make time for yourself and show up ! 

Boundaries are also important for you. Without them, your need for self love and self care will bleed into relationships and your feelings can get hurt a little too easily. Make space for yourself and see how much easier relationships get, you'll realize how much less you actually "need" from another person, and how much more you'll be ale to offer. 

Now lets move it along to the Yang (masculine energy), and if you've read this far , I thank you. 

Masculine energy is more extroverted, dominant, it moves at a faster pace, and is more active. 
This masculine energy can make life look easy. It almost comes off as "I won't limit myself because I know there is so much out there to discover" . 
If you do not use your masculine energy wisely, it can turn against you. and it will. 
​It can make you feel trapped, stuck , or anxious. You may be ungrateful for your blessings which can sabotage a healthy job or relationship because it seems too peaceful to you. 

Make sure you are nurturing your curiosity, sense of adventure and desire for growth in a healthy way. HEALTHY!! Take on a new hobby. Learn a new language, invest in crypto , dance, whatever ! Because you will ultimately outgrow this hobby and need something new . So plan for it. Adding adventure to your life will reduce drama. So prioritize self care. Go on a walk every day as a hobby, take up nature photography, when you outgrow that, go on runs instead. The goal is to take on a hobby you enjoy, and once you stop enjoying it, switch it up ! But make time for your hobbies, because the feeling of boredom can lead you to destructive shit. 
Also remember that just because others feel close to you, does not mean you are obligated to reciprocate the feeling. Do yourself a favor, and care about you first. Honor this with healthy boundaries. 

Not being a balanced masculine can leave you feeling failed by or be disappointed in others. People may also be easily intimidated by you and be afraid to share information , thoughts or emotions with you. 
Give yourself some credit for what you do, without overextending for other people. You might give too much and not receive enough when your energy is out of balance. Save your energy for those that count the most. 

Lean into your strengths. 
​Words of affirmation : "I am a great giver and an excellent receiver" 

​Healthy feminine energy is open, patient, caring, wise, flexible and compassionate. Combine that with a healthy masculine energy and it gives that all more structure and focus. 
Healthy Masculine energy is focused, disciplined, active, has a purpose, has a vision.. sprinkle some healthy feminine energy and it softens and deepens it a bit, and it makes it wiser. 

​Unhealthy feminine energy is completely absent of masculine, it becomes stagnant, lazy , unfocused, over nurturing, unmotivated and sometimes depressed. 
Unhealthy masculine energy that is absent of feminine energy becomes destructive, aggressive, narrow minded , cold , frustrated, unstable and withdrawn. 

The goal here to find the balance between logical thoughts (masculine) and intuitive feelings (feminine)
the balance between your mind (masculine) and your senses (feminine) a balance between decisive action and creativity. Between risk taking and being nurturing. A balance between being impulsive (masculine) and reflective. A balance between competition and collaboration. A balance between analytical and empathetic. A balance between being assertive and being trusting. A balance between being disciplined and being grounded. 
(I will be posting more of this throughout the week on my instagram stories, so make sure you check it out if you're interested in learning more)

Like I said earlier (up there somewhere), finding a perfect balance is difficult but lets put it this way ; a love relationship for example between two unbalanced energies. 
Let's say Bob and Linda are together (and yes I am using Bobs Burgers references because its my blog and I can word this how I want ,haha ).

 Bob is so in his masculine that he criticizes Linda for being too much in her feminine, which he doesn't understand because of course, he is unbalanced. She uses her intuition , so Bob might think she's crazy. She likes to dance and express her femininity or her expressive creativity and Bob might take it as offensive to his ego. So now Linda begins to downplay herself, and abandon her own needs. So now, Linda has resentment. Now Linda is also in her masculine. Now Linda, is uncomfortable speaking about her needs, so she stops asking Bob for help. She starts to become "too independent" , she now wants Bob to see her for who "she is " so she starts giving more into the relationship , and now there is no reciprocity.
Now Linda begins to feel unheard, unseen, and unsafe. And this is how women stay in masculine energy. 

The point is, No relationship is going to succeed without at least a bit of balance between these energies. A woman is supposed to first and foremost feel SAFE enough to be able to be VULNERABLE to RECEIVE . So if her partner is too much in his own masculine, the woman simply cannot be fully in their feminine. and of course, vise versa. 

If Linda was too much in her masculine , Bob would feel un-needed, unwanted, or bored because he simply has nothing "to do" for Linda, because she does it all herself. Masculine energy is about DOING, and taking ACTION. So when Linda says "never mind Bob! I did it already", she leaves Bob feeling small. 
 
I can go on with examples of Bob and Linda, but I think by now you catch my drift. 
I know sometimes, I seem like I'm a bit "out there" but energy doesn't lie people, ever! We are energy ! (look it up if you don't believe me, shit, you don't have to listen to me at all) , but remember that the universe does this thing...where it aligns you with people, things and situations that match the energy you put out. The more you improve yourself and raise your vibration, the more you will see things that are beneficial to your well being. 
We are all fragmented energy from the same source. 
​And energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another. So choose what you are changing, or not. Choose how you are living. Everything begins with your thoughts, your emotions amplify it, your actions give it momentum . 

as the ever so cheesy quote goes "be the change you wish to see in the world" .

​I don't know who said that but I know you've heard it before. And that is where I'll leave this one. 
Again, thank you for reading, thank you for being here. and Thank you for your support 

Peace & Love,
​V

  I am naturally a very organized person. I like to write little to do lists on the notes in my phone, I keep post-its plastered all over my computer monitor with things I need to do, readings I gotta get to , daily things I keep up with for my businesses, and lately, a note with all my blog ideas. This weeks blog though, totally unplanned. I witnessed something yesterday that truly broke my heart but got me thinking about the big picture, the grand scheme of it all, how short or long life is, and how long is a lifetime? 

Life for me lately has been very … different . I’ve been really focused on my work and I’ve been introverted as fuck!
I finally left my cave yesterday and decided to go to the mall .. I bought a pair of vans I’ve been eyeing for a while , and a cup of my favorite mangos with vinegar , salt & pepper . I was so content in  that moment because really, it’s the little things that make me happy . As my girl and I were headed back toward the car , we see a group of people forming a circle .My initial thoughts were "probably some kids making a tiktok" or "maybe a fight".

I keep walking minding my business , when we get closer to the group I realize they are all surrounding a man on the ground .. and as we get even closer, i realize the man was dead .. he was alone and just dropped . Everyone around started to call the ambulance but by the time they arrived , I believe it was too late . He wasn’t breathing , completely changed color .. you know the rest .. He was alone, no one around him was a friend, family member, wife, husband...he was alone, and he died alone surrounded by strangers at a fucking mall.

I stopped for a second , because honestly I was nauseous , but it made me realize how short this life can be . We can be strolling down the mall one second enjoying the little things like a mango doused in vinegar , and the next we can be laid up in a hospital bed , or we might not even make it there . Life is too short . Life is too short to not be who you want to be , it’s too short to not do what you love , be in love , be around people you love and that love you. It’s too short to not live your dreams and chase them . It’s too short to not be happy . It’s too short to not live in alignment by doing what you say you’re gonna do to become who you want to become.  It’s too short to not protect your happiness . It’s too short to be resentful and hold grudges . We don’t know what’s going to happen next , and it’s too short to not to risk it all and just go for it ...whatever ”it “ means to you . 

This might feel dramatic , but witnessing that yesterday hit a switch in my brain for me and in my heart . The sad part was really seeing how no one could help this man . People stood around him and called 911, and a few were shaking him to try and wake him up, but there were also people just being nosey , pulling out their phones to record .I saw a security guard walk right passed it as if nothing was happening . A woman even said to him "I'm on the phone with the paramedics, how do they get in to get here quicker?" This security stupid fuck looked at her, shrugged and kept walking! I was in shock and it took a lot for me to not snatch this dick by his toupee and ask him "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" It just goes to show , we come here alone and we leave alone . So just make sure the time you’re spending while you’re here is spent doing what you love , with the people you love , and creating the life you’ve always wanted for yourself . Because we can really lose it all at any second . 
When we're on our death beds and have the chance to look back at life, I don't think we're going to regret the things we didn't buy. I don't think we're going to sit there and think about all the luxuries we had, the cars we drove, or what we wore .

I think we're going to think about how life could have been more emotionally fulfilling. We're going to think about the ways that we hurt people, AND loved people. We're going to think about the way we overcame challenges, and grew and learned from them. We're going to think about how we could have done things differently, or how we could have done things by others differently. If we think of regrets, I think we would mostly think about the lies we told, the people we hurt, the way we treated our loved ones. I don't think "damn I had a yacht" would trump these other thoughts.
This obsession with money and materials is wack.Trying to impress strangers really, because the people who truly love you, care for you , and support you do not give a single fuck about what materials you have or how you dress. If your wallet and material possessions determines the type of person you are, how you treat others, and your self worth, you have a lot of inner work to do. But anyway now I'm just rambling.


The point is this , if you needed a sign whether to wait on something or not, the answer is Don't. Because, why? Why wait for "the perfect timing" or "the right moment". The right moment to go after what you want is now. The right moment to say what you feel is now, the right moment to start that business or take that course, is now. 
​If it's on your mind, its probably on your heart, and if its in your heart, then you've already committed to it. Lead with your heart always. 

Thanks for reading <3